Aussies, scratch Monday night off the social calendar for the next eight weeks because Game of Thrones is ba-ack.
That’s right, in less than 24 hours, Jon Snow, Sansa Stark and all the other throne chasers return to our small screens for the season seven debut.
But with season six ending a lifetime ago – over a year to be exact – it’s almost impossible to remember exactly where we left off and where new episodes will pick up.
So to save you the hassle of re-watching the last few episodes (although who doesn’t love a GoT marathon), here’s a quick rundown on where the show’s writers left us in June 2016:
1. We’re one Hodor down
It was the most heartbreaking moment in season six, when Hodor could no longer ‘hold the door’. We were not only forced to say farewell to a much-loved character, but watch on as fate (Bran) screwed him as a child and left him as, well, ‘Hodor’.
2. But we’re one kick ass character up
All hail Lady Lyanna of Bear Island! She’s barely a tween, but her straight forward personality and sass has made her into quite a fearsome and successful leader.
3. A kick-ass character who helped Jon Snow become The King of the North
Lady Lyanna stood up for the former Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and once dead man, which helped secure him the title ‘King of the North’
4. A title Jon gained after taking down the big bad Ramsay
Who could forget that epic ‘battle of the bastards‘? Jon took down the world’s worst husband, son, brother, ruler, pet owner etc.
5. Although that ‘battle of the bastards’ didn’t come without a little tension between Jon and his apparent half-sister Sansa
Jon ignored Sansa’s advice to avoid any emotional reactions and wouldn’t let her contribute to the battle plan, which led to thousands of men dying on the battlefield. It should also be noted that Jon was severely F’d until Sansa saved the day.
6. On the topic of Sansa, pretty much everyone wants her on the Iron Throne
The fiery red head won our hearts after surviving relationships with two severely disturbed ‘rulers’. She’s turned her pain into learnings and is proving to be a better leader than the rest of her siblings.
7. While Arya has us all a little sh#t scared with her baking skills
Argh!!! Arya is all about the Faceless life right now and is using it in some seriously disturbing ways. Although kudos to her for scratching another couple of names off her list.
8. And Bran knows something we don’t know
Thanks to his supernatural abilities, Bran has travelled back in time to a lighthouse where a Lyanna Stark has just given birth to a young boy. She’s seen urging her brother, Ned Stark, to lean in so that she can whisper the boy’s real name and the identify of his father – all of which Bran heard but we didn’t.
Bets on Jon Snow being half Stark, half dragon.
7. Speaking of the Stark children, they’re down another sibling
The last time we saw Rickon he was kind of a little brat, fast forward to the ‘battle of the bastards‘ and there stood a scared teenage who didn’t have long to live.
8. Moving on, Jaime isn’t the only one mesmerised by the beauty that is Brienne of Tarth
Tormund Giantsbane is crushing on Brienne hard, like it’s borderline creepy. She doesn’t seem flattered by the attention either.
9. Sam is having the time of his life in The Citadel
He’s got his girl, a baby (although not biologically his, he’s opened his heart to the child) and he’s got his books. Sam is nose deep in thousands of historical texts, one of which is bound to give him some juicy info on the White Walkers.
10. One the topic of White Walkers, their numbers are HUGE
And nobody, except the men in the Night’s Watch, seems to care.
11. The Queen of Dragons is en-route to Westeros
Finally! She finally got her fleet! It only took six bloody seasons.
12. And she’s looking for a husband
That’s why she had to break up with this dude. But erm, hopefully she doesn’t try to hook up with the King of the North, who we all suspect is her relative.
13. Cersei is more disturbed than most of us realised
Dude, she took out a whole religion and its worshipers in less than a minute.
14. Which resulted in the death of her last inbred child
Seriously sad stuff.
15. And her brother/lover Jaime is finally starting to see past her… I’m not exactly sure what it is about her that has him so obsessed so I can’t finish this sentence
She used wildfire! Jaime tarnished his reputation in order to stop the ‘Mad King’ from using the destructive weapon.
Side note, hope there’s some wildfire left over for the White Walkers.
16. Oh and who could forget, winter is officially here
Sansa Stark, fierce future leader and weather woman.